Robin Ellacott’s dilemma.
Inspired by a reference in the 8th Cormoran Strike novel, The Hallmarked Man by Robert Galbraith (JK Rowling), this essay examines how women are often encouraged to choose marriage and motherhood by prioritising men’s needs.
Art & Words by Fanitsa Petrou
JK Rowling deserves our respect for these brief but important references in her books, and of course, for bravely placing herself in the middle of the gender critical online wars as well, becoming an advocate for sanity and because of that, sadly, the high-profile scapegoat the trans warriors needed to play the martyrs they are not.
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In the latest Cormoran Strike novel, The Hallmarked Man, written by JK Rowling (under the pseudonym of Robert Galbraith), there is a brief scene in which the female heroine, Robin, suffers a miscarriage (due to the infection caused by the man who raped her years ago). When her doctor suggests that she needs to freeze her eggs if she wants to become a mother, she can’t make up her mind.
The realisation that she will probably have to sacrifice the job that gives profound meaning to her life, so that she will do what everyone around her expects from her —her mother, her family, her partner —makes her unable to decide. The “either Motherhood or a demanding, time-consuming career that you love” dilemma is a tough one for many contemporary women. Yet, it is actually uncommon to see a literary, TV or movie heroine who is resistant to her ticking clock, and to the urgency to be “like other women”. Even though 45% of women in the US alone (ages 25 to 44) are estimated to be single and childless by 2030, according to statistics, our culture seems to ignore this fact and continues to centre marriage and motherhood, selling it to us as the ultimate life goal for women. This is a fact that is not unrelated to the renewed efforts by many governments to control women’s reproductive rights, so that they will be guided back to a life of financial dependence on men, gratefully offering life-long emotional and physical labour to them.
JK Rowling’s brief mention of spinsters who are decomposing surrounded by their art collections in the first book of the series (The Cuckoo’s Calling) is part of the same universal and ageless stereotype that sees women’s lives as significant, meaningful and enjoyable only in reference to their marital status. But statistics tell a different story, of course: Single women are happier, have less anxiety, a lower risk of depression and drug use, and a greater job satisfaction. They also live longer, healthier lives than married women, while when it comes to men, the opposite happens: married men live longer, healthier lives than single ones. (Because in a wife, a man gets a lifelong carer). Is it any wonder that Patriarchy glorifies marriage and parenthood only in reference to women? Because it JUSTIFIES the sacrifice that is required of them in both.
We all live in the same world where the old gender patriarchal archetypes have a hold on us and are hard to be rid of, as they are still being perpetuated by the denigration of “spinsterhood” in pop culture. Yet, in real life, more and more heterosexual women make the conscious choice to remain single and childless, because they dream of a different kind of existence than the one their mothers and grandmothers had, or because they are not willing to sacrifice their dreams. Or maybe because they reject the idea of sharing a life and a child with a porn addict (which is what most men are these days)
In the 8th book of the Strike series, Robin (refreshingly) reacts when her partner Ryan Murphy, in his efforts to steer her towards the decision he has made for both of them (namely that they ought to start the process necessary to have kids at once) assures her that if she wants to freeze her eggs, he will “support” her! The absurdity of such statements, which men casually make to convince a woman to have their kids when she doesn’t want to, and of course, to seem empathetic with no cost whatsoever to them, is, at the very least, annoying. As JK Rowling says through Robin, he is not going to be “probed, poked and fiddled about with, and have things inserted inside” him. She is, of course, right. The long, painful, messy, humiliating, invasive, bloody business of reproduction is a woman’s burden.
Women who have been indoctrinated by Patriarchal notions about the all-important “magical” qualities of sperm, indulge men by pretending that their contribution to the whole thing is the most invaluable part of it all, their “support” a Godsend, and that the world would stop turning without them, but it is but a kind lie. The fact that women are at the centre of the creation of human beings is, of course, what has historically caused their abasement and the creation of Patriarchy. That is why religions were invented, namely to create new hierarchies that pushed women, the creators of life, to the bottom. Securing their obedience and sexual availability through their disempowerment. And that is why governments still try to control women’s reproductive rights, taking away their choices, steering them away from their dreams (if these are not related to wedding gowns and a life of servitude), putting them nicely in their husbands’ hands. And this is why the trend of “Trad” wives is resurfacing. Glamourising domestic labour and obedience. Reselling us disfranchisement as a choice.
Men’s appropriation of the female experience in terms of human reproduction (their verbal “support” during IVF, during childbirth, breastfeeding, child-rearing, et), will of course, be considered by most women out there as an expression of love and compassion and fatherly excellence, instead of what it often is: a cost-free and lame shot at the spotlight, disguised as empathy… Like every other man in a similar situation, Robin’s partner won’t be “poked and fiddled”. He won’t go through the horrors of IVF, pregnancy and child birth, and, chances are, he won’t raise his kid mostly on his own, and neither will he be forced to give up his work, his dreams, his financial independence, his bodily autonomy, his health, his sleep, his time, and that precious part of his self that comes alive when he does a job he loves, unencumbered, AND guilty-free. And yet, he – like most men out there – feels like he has the same right as her, to have an equal say in such a choice. And to emotionally blackmail her to take it.
The fictional character of Ryan Murphy may be kind of a dick in general, but when it comes to these matters, who isn’t, I ask you (if he is in possession of one)? Not that many of them realise the biological burden we carry from the age of 11 (which makes the whole “transwomen (aka MEN) are women because they announce it” or “because they wear a dress”, or “because they FEEL they are”, utterly ridiculous). Not that many of them understand the pain and sacrifices that are required. Not many men possess the basic degree of self-awareness, either, that would inform them that they are largely redundant when it comes to what it actually takes for a human being to enter this world, and their “support” is largely theoretical. Let alone offered for purely self-congratulatory reasons anyway. Just another thing invented to make them feel as important as they think they are. Because not that many women take the risk of saying things as they are, and helping them gain self-awareness. Actually, not that many women even allow themselves to think such things, lest the fragile balance of their relationships and marriages be examined, and by that questioned, undermined, and put at risk. This is how you survive in Patriarchy after all: by placating men. Thanking them for being “there”. Because they might not even do that…
If Robin (any “Robin”) were to go ahead and freeze her eggs, and go through the hell that is the IVF / Artificial insemination processes, her partner’s own contribution would, of course, be a five-minute wank while watching his favourite nasty porn… That’s it. Job done. But women tend not to tell it like it is, right? They protect men’s fragile feelings and illusions of superiority, and pretend their contributions to the whole process are oh-so precious, and the choice about having kids or not, equally theirs (if not wholly…) Women at the same time as they are going through a hell of having daily injections, having invasive procedures and hormone therapies that cause all kinds of physical and emotional turmoil, might even be forced to comfort THEM when they complain (and they will) that ejaculating in a cup is not “fun”, or that masturbating on demand is not “ideal”. (Poor babies!)
So, Robin saying it like it is, is important. As was that scene in Troubled Blood, (one of the other Strike novels), where we hear Strike put that young student in her place, when she uses the popular among liberal feminists argument, that prostitution and pornography are “empowering” for women, a job like any other, and related to a woman’s “bodily autonomy”, instead of what they really are: vehicles for the degradation and dehumanisation of women. The “place” where men go to buy the right to abuse and rape women (or fantasise that they do), thinking it to be their prerogative.
It is in short for these reasons why JK Rowling deserves our respect! For these brief but important references in her books, and of course for bravely placing herself in the middle of the gender critical online wars as well, becoming an advocate for sanity and because of that, sadly, the high-profile scapegoat the trans warriors needed to play the martyrs they are not.
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Posted on the 23rd of September, 2025. Art & Words Copyright © Fanitsa Petrou. All Rights Reserved. Feel free to share on social media by using the link. More Art: www.fanitsa-petrou.com
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Read Also:
Review of The Hallmarked Man by JK Rowling (The Complexities of Love and Other Mysteries)
What Does it Really Mean?
The “Right” kind of Mother – Motherhood Within Patriarchy, Part II
